Half way there and nowhere near....

Well today is the half way point of my journey to lose 100 pounds in 2013 and what a journey it has been. Those of my readers who don't struggle with their weight might have a hard time understanding my ups and downs, I am sure it is frusterating for some. It seems so easy....JUST EAT LESS AND MOVE MORE but I wish it were that simple. Many of the people following my blog are on their own weight loss journey and are having varying amounts of success. Some are kicking ass and I am so happy for them. Others are still trying to find their place, like me, and seem to be dealing with more failures than success. Then there are those who have given up completely. No judgement here, I have felt like doing that many times.

Today is July 1st and it is half way through the year. There are 6 monthes ahead where we can change our lives for the better. This is a call to action to everyone to put all of the past bullshit behind them and start fresh today. I know I am.  Here is what I have learned from the first 6 monthes of 2013:

1) This blog is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Being so transparent leaves you feeling a bit vulnerable but it is also very liberating. Exposing your "secrets" to the world helps you to see that you are not alone and you are not all f*&ked up (or any more f*&ked up than anyone else). Secrets hold so much power over us and just releasing them lightens your load. If you are carrying something around that causes you shame, tell someone. Tell someone or tell everyone. You will be surprised that it might not be that big of a deal afterall.

2) I NEED structure and a program to follow. The last few monthes I have been doing things myself. I have been trying to listen to my body and feed it appropriately. I am not there yet. CONFESSION TIME: as of this morning I have put back on half of the weight I lost earlier in the year. So I am starting today with a net loss of 17 pounds. I am so disappointed in myself but I am leaving that behind today and starting fresh. I can do this, I know I can.

3) Even though I need a plan, Weight Watchers still isn't it. I don't look at foods as points values and don't really think I should be anyway. Jon is still going and that is fine, if it works for him I am happy for him. It is a great program for some people, just not for me.

4) I do not deal with chaos and change well. This year has been one of a lot of changes for me and my family. New city, new lifestyle with a baby, new financial situation with Jon staying home with Aidan. Work is good but crazy busy. We have a friend crashing with us while he gets back on his feet. Just a lot of stuff going on. When things get like this, I find it far too easy to put my goals and needs on the back burner. It is even easier to fall back into old habits like eating take out and drinking coffee for lunch instead of a meal. Life is all about change and I need to learn how to go with the flow but not allow that flow to take me too far off course. This is something I am very aware of.

All that said, I am feeling very happy and excited today about what the future holds. A few weeks ago I was at the spa and my friend had mentioned a book to me by Chris Powell (the extreme makeover weight loss edition cutie patootie!). I picked it up and read it from cover to cover. It is great for some people but not realistic for most I think. Just far too complicated but some of the key concepts were intriguing. So I have put something together that I am going to try for this next week and will report back next monday with the results. It may need some tweaking and I am doing some research to make sure that it is based on good science but I feel like this just might work!

So start fresh today. Renew your goals and your commitment to reaching them. A lot can happen in 6 monthes! I may not lose my 100 pounds but I know I can get close and what I have gained by the journey is much more important. Thanks for all of the support guys, you are amazing!