What a ride this is! I am up 1.4 pounds this week. I am not surprised to be honest. My body loves to stay at the weight it is at. People have certain set-points where the body is comfortable and unfortunately, this is one of mine. Add onto that the fact that I was not very good last week and I am counting my blessings that I am not up more.
I am struggling. Really struggling with this program. Well not the program itself, I am struggling with being ON a program. The last post about tweaking things really opened my eyes to a few facts and I have felt a sense of uneasiness since. The fact of the matter is, obesity is a disease I am going to have to manage for the rest of my life. I am NOT managing it by doing all of the extreme things I do. Being lax all week in my eating and then low carbing on the weekend in time for the weigh-in on monday, I am not winning the war with behaviours like that. Who am I fooling? Maybe the lady weighing me in at Weight Watchers but what does she care? I weigh in, feel a moment of truimph or defeat and then it is back to the same pattern again. It is like a carnival game that you keep playing even though the odds of winning are slim to none.
What I ultimately want is to eat like a "normal" person. So I googled "Eating like a normal person" and I came across the concept of Intuitive Eating. This both resonated with me and scared the shit out of me. I don't trust myself enough to just simply listen to my body. I don't trust my body enough to tell me the truth. This intuitive eating concept is not new but it is new to me. There are 10 principles and if you will indulge me, I am going to blog my way through them over the next few weeks. Something needs to change because what I have done for the last 25 years of my life has not worked.
I want off of this weight loss roller coaster because if I don't get off soon, it will make me sick.
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