A better BBW :)

Very interesting response to my post yesterday. I am not surprised that many of my friends had come to the same realizations I had. I wonder if it was just a scene that we outgrew? I certainly know I have outgrown the bar scene in general, I had by my late twenties. Some of my plus size female friends are among the smartest and most talented women I have met. I am sure they realized quickly (as I had) that the caliber of many of the men that lurk in this lifestyle is less then stellar. As my Nanny used to say "You can always stoop and pick up shit". God bless her :)

I am being kind of hard on the whole BBW scene and in all honesty, it is not like it has scarred me for life. In fact, I am grateful for it because if there was no BBW network in Toronto I never would have met my husband. Oddly enough neither of us were involved in it anymore when we did cross paths. Funny story......

Jon had been introduced to the whole BBW thing by a friend of his (thank you Lindsay!) and he frequented the club before I had really found out about it. I had been introduced by a friend of mine. My friend and his roommate had also met at the club one night. Lots of friends meeting as you can see. Jon's roommate and her boyfriend were going to be going to Karaoke. My friend wanted to go but didn't want to be a 3rd wheel so she begged me to go with her. I went (kicking and screaming), Jon showed up after being badgered by his roommate and the rest is history. If it wasn't for the bbw clubs in Toronto, none of us would have ever connected.

Now my husband is a lover of ALL women. He has a real respect and appreciation of women of all ages, sizes, nationalities. It is part of what I loved about him when we met. If you put the singer Pink and Camryn Manheim side by side, he would think they were equally beautiful just in different ways. He is also one of those guys that often got cast to the "friend" role, much to his displeasure. In that role he heard and saw a lot of the same things I came to dislike about the scene. The bitchiness between women, the womanizing and what bothered him most was how a lot of the women just kept going back for more. By the time I had met him, he was OVER IT like I was. It was sure fun to swap stories though!!

Fast forward a few years, we are married and living our lives. I happen to come across a BBW club on Facebook but this is something totally different. BIG BEAUTIFUL WELLNESS! My interest is piqued. The woman behind this group is Liz McCallum and she is amazing. Her whole goal is to get women LIVING life in the body they have rather than waiting until they are skinny. It is not a "fat acceptance" group, it is all about accepting where you are and making choices that support all the aspects of wellness (physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual). She believes, as I believe, that body size is not a true indication of health. This is not just a belief, it has been proven time and time again. While I am on a journey to lose weight, it is ultimately for my wellness. Our goals are not that different. I am guilty of limiting myself based on my weight, she has encouraged me to live now and I am trying to do better every day.

You know what's funny? My weight has never made me feel like I wasn't attractive;  I have "ugly" days like everyone else but overall I know I am very pretty (that sounded conceited but you know what I mean!). What it has done is make me feel like I wasn't capable of doing certain activities. The thought of embarrassing myself riding a bike or trying to ski, that is what holds me back. This is what Big Beautiful Wellness is all about, living in the now and truly living. So thank you Liz for tirelessly working to try to get through to us woman. I know it hasn't been easy but you have made an impact on me and I know you have on many others. Please check out her facebook page and join. You will be inspired and you will be amazing :)