So Aidan turned ONE on February 1st which was a wonderful day. I can't believe my little guy is already a year old, where has the time gone? While I am over the moon with happiness and so very grateful, I think it has also thrown me into a bit of a funk. I could also be me missing my family. My parents came down for Aidan's birthday and when they leave it reminds me of how much I miss them. It could be the winter blues or it could be PMS; regardless of the reason, I am just not myself.
On the positive, I have been pretty good about the whole giving up wheat thing. I had two little setbacks earlier in the week but I learned from them I think. My first day off it was Tuesday and I didn't eat any all day. I came home from work famished and not really prepared in the grocer department so we ended up having some breaded halibut we had in the freezer. So not horrible but certainly contained wheat. I learned that going gluten free required a little more pre-planning than I had anticipated. The next day I was a complete stressball because we were having our insurance medicals that night.
Confession time: One of my biggest fears is being declined for insurance. Hence I have none. I kept putting applying off until I got the weight off but those days weren't coming too quickly. When we had Aidan I knew it was something we had to do but I used lack of money as an excuse. Now that I am back at work that is no longer valid. When we took on this monster mortgage and made the decision to have Jon stay home with Aidan, our Financial Planner put his foot down and insisted we get insured. I still managed to put it off 3 monthes but finally it was go time.......
So Wednesday arrives, work is insanely busy and I have to leave early for this damn physical. Not only am I stressed about being declined coverage but we also have to give blood samples. Now getting blood from me is no easy task. It seems my veins are the only small thing on my body and they like to go into hiding at the sight of a needle. I have been to clinics where every technician has taken a stab and no luck. In fact it took 3 nurses to get an IV in my at the hospital when I was preggers. Needless to say, I was not too keen on getting blood taken by a stranger at my dining room table. But the nurse came and everything went off pretty smoothly. She leaves and instead of having the soup we had discussed before she arrived, I talked Jon into McDonalds. I had the points so that was not the issue. Besides McDicks being crap and containing wheat, the issue lied with the fact that I chose to comfort/reward myself with food. A setback for sure. As soon as I bit into that Big Mac I knew I had fallen back into an old habit and I felt shitty. Decided to feel the shame, let it go and learn from it. Therein lies the success I guess.
Thursday and Friday I did a lot of pre-planning and cooking and stayed completely wheat free. Physically I feel good, mentally I feel exhausted and emotionally I feel a little fragile. Looking forward to a weekend of relaxing with my boys and getting set for another crazy week ahead. Serenity NOW :)
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